


Once Bitten, Twice Shy

by punkcatknitter



Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: Child Death, Complete, F/M, Gen, I wrote this a long time ago, Jess was always cranky, Kidnapping, Psychological Drama, Romance, cranky jess, i was worried it would be, switched at birth - Freeform, this story isn't bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-25
Updated: 2015-04-25
Packaged: 2018-03-25 18:35:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 16,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3820618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punkcatknitter/pseuds/punkcatknitter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rory's daughter Jamie makes a shocking discovery.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> So I finally decided to archive my old GG fics here for posterity, with the original author's notes if I still have them. Some are better than others, but I was so proud of them at the time.
> 
> I found some of the graphics I originally made for the story so I'm going to post those as well even though a few made me cringe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/24623793@N00/17268892111)

**Chapter One**

 

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/24623793@N00/17081677158)

 

**Another Mystery for Mariano**

**Editorial**

**By Marsha Danby**

 

A father loses his daughter twice.

It was nearly seven years ago when best-selling author J. William Mariano discovered his 13 month old daughter missing from her crib. Mariano’s former nanny Kristen Bradford confessed to taking the child to police not long after, but refused to tell of the child’s current location. All Bradford would say about 13 month old Shauna Mariano was that she was safe.

Unfortunately, she wasn’t safe enough. Just last month the remains of Mariano’s daughter were discovered in an overgrown field behind the apartment building of Bradford’s former spouse, who is now being held for attempted murder.

As Mariano reeled from the news of his daughter’s demise, yet another shock was handed to him. The DNA of the corpse matched Shauna’s, but according to their tests, there was no possibility of the child being his biologically.

When further tests were run, it was also discovered that the child did not share DNA with Mariano’s widow, who had died giving birth to the child. Police now suspect that it is a case of two infants being switched at birth.

Another tragedy involves the hospital where the child was born, St. Matthews of Albany, New York. The medical center burned down two years ago, therefore it has become impossible to recover the records of any other infants born the same day as Shauna.

The Police have requested that anyone with any information on an infant born at St. Matthews Hospital in the month of June 2010 please call toll free 1-800-555-1234.

 

***

 

Eight-year-old Jamie Tarbox set down the paper. She took another bite of Cocoa Puffs and then looked at the article again.

“Mom?”

“What?” Her mother called back.

“What was the name of the hospital I was born at?”

“St. Matthews. Why?”

“No reason,” Jamie called back, picking up the paper again. She stared at the pictures splashed on the front page of that day’s paper.

She traced the facial features of the man in the picture. “J. William Mariano,” she whispered softly, twirling a dark curl around her finger. He looked so familiar.

Then Jamie turned her attentions to the second picture, of female toddler clutching a small toy in one hand. Pale blonde hair stuck out in various positions from the child’s head.

Jamie blinked back tears and carefully tore out the article, folding it and tucking it in her pocket. She closed her eyes tightly, but the image seemed burned into her retina. The image of a very familiar face.

The image of a little girl who looked exactly like her father.

“Jamie you’re going to be late for school if you don’t get your butt moving!”

Jamie jumped a little, relaxing when she realized that the article was safely tucked in her pocket. She slid the rest of the paper into the trash can and hopped off her stool. “I’m ready!” she called back.

“Of course you are.” Rory Gilmore-Tarbox darted into the room with only one earring in and two different shoes on. “You’re always ready. You’re ready and I’m the one running around like an insane person trying to remember what I did with my keys.”

“They’re in the vegetable crisper.”

“Good to know. What are they doing there?”

Jamie shrugged. “I have no idea.”

“Join the club. You need lunch money?”

A small paper bag was held up. “I packed my own.”

“That’s my girl.” Rory smiled down at her. “Are you okay? You look a little peaked.”

“Peaked? Did they used to say that back in the eighteen hundreds?”

Rory rolled her eyes. “Very funny, Miss Smarty-Pants. Now tell me what I forgot and get out of here before you miss the bus.”

“Your buttons.” Jamie pointed.

Rory looked down at her blouse which was buttoned up crookedly, leaving a lone button hanging down at the bottom without a buttonhole to go in. “Tonight please don’t let me stay up past midnight, okay?”

“You got it.” Jamie grabbed her backpack and headed for the door of their apartment. She paused in the doorway and looked back at her mother.

“You okay?”

Jamie nodded. “I love you, Mom.”

“I love you too, baby.”

Jamie bit her lip as she stepped on the elevator. She wasn’t stupid. That little girl in the picture looked like her father. Or at least the man she’d thought was her father.

He’d died when she was only two. Jamie didn’t really remember anything about him, she only knew what her mother had told her. He was tall, over six feet, with pale blonde hair and baby blue eyes. He and Rory met at a party in college. They were both reading books in a back room to escape.

Jamie liked to read, which was why she’d been reading the paper that morning. They got two papers every day of the week, even Sunday. Her mom hardly ever read them, said she got enough of that at work.

Her mom worked at the Channel Nine News. She’d started out in research and now she was a newscaster, as well as filling in on the writing staff when needed.

Jamie’s mom was really great.

But now her mom might not really be her mom.

She wasn’t sure what she thought about that.

 

***

 

The room had been dark for two weeks.

The shades were drawn shut, all light switches pointing south.

He hadn’t left the room since they’d told him about Shauna.

She’d been such a good baby. Never cried, smiled all the time. She’d starting walking at ten months, said her first word the day before her first birthday.

_Da-da._

He couldn’t think about that anymore. It was too painful. His little girl was gone. Yes, she’d been gone for a long time, but now she was more than just gone.

Shauna was dead.

There was officially no one left in his life to care about.

No one.

A month ago, he would have been in the same place, only instead of merely staring at the wall behind his desk, he would be scribbling furiously on small slips of paper. Small slips of paper he would later torture his secretary with because she couldn’t read his writing.

His manuscripts rarely consisted of actual notebook paper. Old receipts, the back of a placemat, books he had been reading, napkins, some paper, some cloth, and once he’d written an entire scene on a twenty-dollar bill.

Writing had once made him happy. The past few years writing had been a way to keep fed. To keep a roof over his head. He lived in an old Victorian style home with big windows and narrow doorways. The furniture was scarce, except in the rooms where his live-in housekeeper and cook resided.

He didn’t like things.

There was his desk, a bed, two chairs, a couch, and a bookcase.

Then of course, there was Shauna’s room. Nothing had been changed since the day she disappeared. He’d known the chances were slim, but he hadn’t wanted to lose hope that one day his little girl would once again sleep in that room.

“Mr. Mariano?”

“What?” Jess growled without bothering to look up at the timid girl standing in the doorway.

“Y-your editor called,” she said softly, twisting her hands nervously.

“What does he want?”

The girl took a tiny step into the room. “H-he was wondering if you’d f-finished your manuscript. It was due yesterday.”

Jess cursed under his breath. He’d almost forgotten that time still passed the same way it always had. The world shouldn’t keep on going. It should have stopped, or at least slowed down.

Time had always been his enemy.

He reached for an empty notebook on the desk. “Next time he calls tell him it’ll be done next week.”

She nodded and backed out of the room, gently shutting the door behind her.

Jess opened a drawer and pulled out a half-empty bottle of whiskey.

Nothing left to live for.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/24623793@N00/16646975014)

**Chapter Two**

“So, then Maggie Perkins comes over and starts telling me all about her new horse and how pretty it is and how much she loves it and I’m just standing there wondering why she’s telling me all this because we’re not even friends and then you were late for gym and Ms. Junior was totally flipping out and…”

Jamie never listened to more than half of what Tara was saying at lunch. It was kinda pointless. If you listened to too much of it, you got confused.

“…and then I dropped my pencil and Rob Duncan picked it up and then he totally wouldn’t give it back…”

Jamie tuned her friend out again, lightly fingering the newspaper article in her jeans pocket. When she’d used the bathroom earlier she re-read the article, but it only reinforced her hunch that the man, J. William Mariano, was her father.

Ever since she’d found out where babies came from, Jamie had assumed she looked like her mother. After all, her father was as fair as she was dark.

As she stared at the picture in the paper, she instantly spotted a dozen similarities between them. The curly dark hair. The eyes. Stubborn chin.

There was no doubt about it. She had to have been the baby his daughter was switched with.

But what was she going to do?

“…and then my dad wouldn’t let me watch MTV so I called my mom up and asked if I could stay at her house that weekend and she said…”

That was it! Jamie sat up quickly. If she told Mom, she’d worry. Jamie didn’t want that, so she’d just go see this J. Mariano herself.

It was a plan.

:::::

Jess had unplugged the phone hours before. He hated being interrupted when he was writing, especially when he had a deadline and no book.

The doorbell rang again and he felt rage building up inside his body. Why wouldn’t everyone just leave him the hell alone?! His daughter was dead, damn it! If he didn’t want to talk, he didn’t have to talk.

Ding-dong.

He hated the doorbell.

Ding-dong.

If that freakin’ doorbell rang one more time….

Ding-dong.

“That’s it!” Jess exclaimed, leaping up from his chair. Whoever was at that door was going to die. Die a long, miserable death.

His study was in the attic, so he had two flights of stairs to stomp down, muttering unintelligible tirades the whole way. Gritting his teeth, he swung the front door open, ready to lash out at the first person he saw.

A little girl in a white t-shirt and worn overalls.

Jess blinked twice. Whoever she was, he wanted to yell at her. But why was a little girl standing at his door?

“You’re J. William Mariano.”

Her hair was the exact same shade as his. “What of it?” he snapped.

“Are you?”

“Am I what?”

“Are you J. William Mariano?”

Jess sighed. “What if I am?”

“If you are, I need to talk to you.”

“I don’t want any Girl Scout cookies, kid.” He began to close the door.

“I’m sorry she died,” the little girl whispered, biting her lip.

Jess was stunned. “What?”

“Shauna. I’m sorry she died.”

Jess stared at her. He felt the hairs stand up on the back of his neck, like when you start feeling deja-vu. Something felt so familiar. No, he thought to himself. It’s impossible. You’ve never seen this kid before in your life.

“Who the hell are you and what do you know about Shauna?”

“I’m Jamie.” She shifted her feet, but not in fear. Grown men and women cowered when Jess was in this kind of mood, but this little brown-haired girl was looking right into his eyes.

She wasn’t afraid.

Jess swallowed. “What do you know about Shauna?” he repeated, softer and slower.

“I know she wasn’t really your daughter.”

He gritted his teeth. “And?”

“I think I’m your daughter, Mr. Mariano.”

:::::

Jamie was sitting Indian-style on the counter, her chin in her hands. The big grouchy guy had yanked her inside real quick after that, but he still wouldn’t talk to her. Instead, he’d been pacing back and forth across the kitchen floor.

She watched him go back and forth.

“Who sent you?” he demanded.

Jamie sighed. “No one sent me.”

“Well, where do you live? What’s your phone number?”

“I’m not gonna tell you until you listen to me.” She crossed her arms stubbornly across her chest.

He let out a soft growl under his breath and she giggled. He sounded funny when he was mad. “I just wanna talk to you.”

“Fine.” His tone was flat.

She paused, not having expected him to give in quite that easily. Her thoughts weren’t all sorted out in her head. “I read this in the paper yesterday,” she said finally, pulling the crumpled sheet out from her pocket.

He accepted the article and glanced at it before returning his gaze to her.

“I was born at St. Matthews on June 17, 2010.”

“Oh.” Jess felt like he had been punched in the stomach. June seventeenth. The same day Shauna had been born. The day her mother died. The day his life began to make sense.

Jamie continued to stare at him, her chocolate brown eyes never wavering. He didn’t want to believe this, that she could be the girl. But those eyes….and her hair.

She was the mirror image of him.

“How did you get here?”

“I took a bus.”

“Do your mom and dad know where you are?”

“My dad died.” She bit her lip again, and then shook her head. “My mom thinks I’m at school.”

Jess took a deep breath. He didn’t know what to do with this kid. If she was his…well he didn’t really want to think about that at the moment. First thing’s first, he had to call her mother.

Jamie dutifully dictated the number of her mother’s work to him, and he dialed the numbers slowly. The phone rang four and a half times before someone picked up.

“Hello?”

No. It couldn’t be. This all had to be some sort of sick, cosmic joke. It wasn’t her.

“Hello?”

Jess closed his eyes.

It was her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/24623793@N00/17062015527)

**Chapter Three**

He cleared his throat. “Mrs. Tarbox?”

“Yes?” A slight quiver of fear made its way through the phone, almost as if she could sense something was wrong. Which it was.

Very wrong.

“Mrs. Tarbox, I’m not sure how to tell you this, but your daughter isn’t in school today.” He cursed silently as the words came out. Now he sounded like some sort of damn ‘After School Special’.

“Excuse me?!”

Jess cringed at the shriek that accompanied the voice, and handed the phone to Jamie. “Here. You did this. You explain.”

“I’m sorry, Mom.”

“Why aren’t you in school, young lady?!” Jess could hear her loud and clear. He briefly considered snickering. The woman still had quite the set of lungs on her.

“I needed to meet him, Mom. He’s a really great author.” She crossed her fingers.

Jess grimaced. Great. The kid was lying to her mother. This would forever be his fault, he just knew it.

“I took the bus.”

Jess pulled a bottle of aspirin out of a cupboard and began wrestling with the child-proof cap. There was a headache coming on. One that was even more of a pain than his usual morning hangover.

“Yeah, I know you have to come get me.” Jamie took the bottle out of his grasp and slid the cap off easily. “Yes, I know this was very dangerous.” She handed it back to him. “And stupid. I wouldn’t forget stupid.”

Jess stared at the bottle for a minute, then quickly swallowed four of the pills. What he really wanted to do was chase it down with half of the vodka bottle beneath the sink, but not with the kid there.

Jamie talked for another moment, and then hung up the phone. “She’s on her way,” she stated evenly, sliding off the counter and walking around to Jess’ side. “Are you okay?”

“Fine.”

Dark innocent eyes stared up at him. He wasn’t fine. She knew he wasn’t fine. Somehow, they silently agreed to let it go. Jess grabbed a beer out of the fridge and sat down at the kitchen table.

Jamie came to stand beside him again. “Where’s the bathroom?”

“Down the hall, third door on the left.”

“Thanks.” She smiled and picked up a paperback that he’d left on the kitchen counter. Coincidentally, it was one he’d written.

“What are you doing?”

“Huh?” She turned around to give him a strange look.

He gestured towards the book. “Why are you bringing that with you?”

Her tone was matter-of-fact. “The average person spends three years in the bathroom during their lifetime. Do you know how many books you can read in three years? Why waste the time?”

Jess nodded slightly and she slipped off.

She was one weird kid.

:::::::

Jess opened the door but Rory simply rushed by him, having spotted Jamie standing in the hallway.

"I was so worried about you!" she exclaimed, grabbing the girl in a tight hug and then thrusting her away from her body. "Now tell me how you knew how to ride the bus."

"Aunt Georgia showed me the last time I visited her." Jamie smiled sheepishly.

"Where did you get the money?"

Jamie bit her lip. "You accidentally gave me twenty instead of ten for lunch this morning."

"Geez." Rory shook her head. "You're supposed to tell me when I make mistakes like that, remember?"

"I had to come!" Jamie gestured towards Jess, who was standing uncomfortably off to the side, watching the exchange.

Rory turned to thank the person who had called her and froze, just now noticing who it was. No, she thought. No, I'm hallucinating. All this fear about my daughter is bringing out a hallucination of my very worst fears.

"Rory," he stated, cocking an eyebrow.

She swayed, suddenly feeling faint. A feeling of utter and immense dread made its way over her body. This was too much coincidence. "Jamie, why did you come here?" she asked softly, glancing toward her daughter.

"I had to." Jamie reached in her pocket and pulled out the article, holding it out to her mother.

As Rory read the article over, Jamie took the time to ponder over coming. She'd been so scared on the bus. All those strange people, looking at her weird because she was obviously alone. The man at the ticket booth hesitated before letting her have a ticket, obviously doubting that her mother was indeed "in the bathroom", like she'd told him.

Maybe she shouldn't have come. At the time, it had seemed easier to find out the truth before she told her mom. That way if it was just a big coincidence, she wouldn't be hurt. But when she saw him standing in the doorway, she knew it was more than just a similarity.

He was her father.

"Oh my god." Rory swayed, the article crumpling in her hand as she leaned against the wall. Hard. No, no, no, she wanted to scream. Not this. Anything but this. It couldn't be true. Couldn't be real.

Jamie was her daughter.

Her daughter.

Not his.

No.

Jess looked slightly better than her, having had a bit more time to adjust, but he still was just as shaken.

Jamie looked from one to the other. It hadn't really occurred to her that anyone would be upset by this. All she could think when she saw that article was maybe, just maybe, she had a father.

Now as she watched her mother in tears and this man, the guy who might be her father, she wondered if she had done the right thing.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/24623793@N00/17267640992)

**Chapter Four**

Rory grabbed Jamie’s arm. “Let’s go.” She began leading her daughter (her daughter) towards the door.

Jess stepped in front of them. “Rory, calm down.”

“Calm down?!” she shrieked. ”I just found out my kid isn’t my kid and that my real daughter died six years ago at the hand of someone you hired to take care of her and you want me to calm down?!”

Jess felt like he’d been punched in the stomach. She blamed him. He’d been blaming himself for six years, and now someone else was blaming him too.

It kinda felt good.

“Bye,” Jamie said softly, giving him a helpless look as Rory dragged her out the door. Jess nodded slightly in recognition. He closed the door lightly behind them.

Slowly, he walked up the stairs back to the attic. The book was due in two days. He couldn’t deal with this now. It was too painful to think about and he couldn’t afford to wallow.

Sitting down in front of his computer, he threw himself into his work, banishing all thoughts of Rory and her daughter.

However, a pair of wide brown eyes haunted him for the rest of the day.

:::::

As she went to buckle her seatbelt, Jamie noticed she was still holding the book she’d started reading in his house. His house. What was she supposed to call him anyway? Mr. Mariano? Jess? The guy who might be her dad? It was all so complicated.

The author of the book was one J. William Mariano. She shoved the book under the car seat quickly. He had written that book, and she wanted to read it. She was smart enough to know her mother would object.

“Where are we going?” she asked softly, after an hour had passed and nothing looked familiar yet. The bus hadn’t taken this long. They couldn’t be going back to the city.

Rory gripped the steering wheel tightly. “Home.”

“Oh.” Jamie nodded. They were going to Star’s Hollow. She should have guessed right away that her mom would want to talk to Grandma. Grandma would know what to do, how to sort everything out.

And if she couldn’t, Luke would know what to do.

:::::

Rory had been crying for an hour when they pulled up to her mother’s house. Not big sobs just slow hot tears pouring down her cheeks. She wanted to stop. She was scaring Jamie but she couldn’t seem to stop.

So instead, every ten minutes or so, she whispered, “sorry” under her breath.

And every ten minutes, Jamie said it was okay.

But it wasn’t okay. Nothing was okay. It might never be okay again. She couldn’t even process her thoughts correctly as she climbed out of the car and ambled her way up to the front door.

She needed her mommy. She was a grown woman who still needed her mommy.

Not bothering to knock, Rory opened the door and practically fell into the hallway. She tilted her head as if she had some sort of built-in “Mommy-Homing” device in her brain. The sounds of coffee percolating from the kitchen caused her to head in that direction.

“Rory!” Lorelai was surprised. It wasn’t an unpleasant surprise, though, or at least not until she saw Rory’s tears. “What’s the matter?”

Rory fell into her arms, sobbing and rambling until the entire story had been told.

:::::

Meanwhile, Jamie had gotten out of the car, but she didn’t go inside. She took out Mr. Mariano’s book from its hiding place, and walked over to the side of the yard, choosing to sit beneath the chuppah.

She’d always loved the chuppah. Grandma got all animated when telling her about it, wild hand gestures and facial expressions, constantly exaggerating things. If Luke was around, he’d protest vainly, making the story even more entertaining.

Luke was Mr. Mariano’s uncle. He hadn’t seen him in a long time, but they talked on the phone. Jamie had heard Grandma talking to him about it one night when she slept over. No one mentioned it in front of her mom.

Instead of returning to her place in the text, she flipped the book over to read the reviews on the back cover. “Dark… depressing… utterly addictive!” “Mariano once again takes the psychological thriller to new levels…” “Guaranteed to keep you up all night reading…”

Jamie smiled. Now she knew the book would be scary and not to read it at night, when she was huddled under the covers with a flashlight because it was past bedtime.

“Hey, kid. Whatcha reading?” Luke came up and crouched down next to her in the freshly mown grass.

Jamie’s first instinct was to hide the book. Luke was always trying to get her to read ‘kids’ books. She was forever fending off presents of “Babysitter’s Club” and “Sweet Valley High” related reading material.

She held up the book. “It’s called Lost Inside.”

“Oh.” Luke frowned, as she’d known he would. The frown deepened when he noticed the author. “Where did you get this?”

“From my dad.”

Luke’s eyes widened.

“Not Brian. He’d dead.”

“Then who?” Luke looked confused.

Jamie didn’t say anything. She stared at her feet and ran her fingers over the book’s contours. She wasn’t sure if she was supposed to tell Luke about what had happened. Not with her mom so upset. Then again, he was married to Grandma, so she supposed he would find out eventually. Nevertheless, she was keeping her mouth shut.

Luke seemed to sense that she really didn’t want to talk anymore and stayed silent, sitting quietly beside her under the chuppah.

Lorelai came out onto the porch later on and made a wide gesture to him. “Luke! C’mere!”

“I’m being summoned.” Luke smiled at Jamie and followed Lorelai back into the house, where she grabbed him by the collar and shoved him into a closet.

Ducking under several years of unused winter coats, she joined him and shut the door behind them.

Luke suffered several seconds of silence in the dark stuffy room before she spoke.

“Jamie may be Jess’ daughter.”

“What?” Luke tried not to choke. “I thought they never slept together! Heck, I didn’t think they were even speaking!”

“They’re not.” Lorelai shushed him. “Shauna was born at St. Matthews.”

“So?” Luke tried not to snap, but it was just too hard for him to think about little Shauna. He’d only seen her twice before she’d…well, before she went away.

“Jamie was born at St. Matthews.”

Luke was still confused.

Lorelai sighed in frustration. “Look, maybe you’ve forgotten the hysterical drowned rat that showed up sobbing on our doorstep last month, but I haven’t. I can’t believe I forgot that Jamie had been born there…I’m such a bad mother…”

“Wait.” Luke opened the closet door a crack to allow in some oxygen and a sliver of light. “Rory thinks Jamie was the baby who was switched?”

“No, Jamie thinks she was the baby who was switched. She read an article in the paper. The press finally got a hold of that juicy little tidbit.”

Luke swore. “I was hoping they would just leave him alone.”

“No such luck. What are we going to do? Rory’s hysterical. She sobbed for twenty minutes and then dozed off on the kitchen table.”

“You can’t send her home like that.” Luke hugged Lorelai lightly. “She’ll have to stay here, at least for tonight. She can sleep in the guest room and Jamie can sleep in Belinda’s room.”

“Right.” Lorelai took a deep breath. “Just tell me this is going to be all right.” She looked up at him with pleading eyes.

Luke gritted his teeth. He couldn’t promise that, but damn it, he was going to try. “It’s going to be okay. We’ll work this out.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

Luke dialed the number, listening to the phone ring over and over before a familiar message picked up. "Leave a message." It was so Jess, dispersing with the pleasantries and getting straight to the point.

He'd already called four times, but it was now apparent that not only was Jess himself not answering the phone, but his housekeeper had been instructed to ignore it as well. The poor girl was terrified of him.

Not that Luke blamed her. Jess hadn't been the most pleasant of people the past few years. What few social skills he'd obtained were quickly thrown out of the window, leaving behind a gruff shell of anger, shielding his fear of being out of control.

"Jess, this is Luke. Look, I know you don't really want to talk to anyone right now, but I thought that you should know that Rory and Jamie are here. Rory's pretty upset so I know you must be even worse... call if you need anything, okay? Anything." With that Luke hung up the phone.

:::::

Jamie walked upstairs sleepily, book clutched to her chest. She wanted to talk to her mom, but Grandma said she was sleeping and to leave her alone until the morning. Jamie sniffled. She didn't want to leave her alone until the morning. She wanted to talk to her mom now.

When Jamie stepped inside the bright purple room, Belinda was standing on her head. "Hey!" she said cheerily, dropping gracefully to her feet. "Mom didn't say you were coming today."

"I wasn't." Jamie sat down gingerly on Belinda's bedspread, which was covered in giant purple flowers.

Belinda tilted her head and frowned. "You don't look so good. Have you been drinking coffee?"

"Contrary to popular opinion, everything bad that happens is not a direct result of coffee, Belinda." Jamie sighed. "I don't really want to talk about it, okay?"

Belinda nodded. "Okay." She wiggled her toes, which were each painted a different but equally bright color. "You want a sleeping bag or do you want to share the bed?"

"Sleeping bag's fine." Jamie still had her arms crossed, the book tightly pressed against her chest. She didn't want to go to bed. She wanted to talk to her mom. She wanted to tell her she was sorry.

This was all just a big mess. Even if he wasn't her dad, she'd hurt her mom.

Hurt her really bad.

Later that night, when Belinda's breathing had evened out and Jamie was sure she was asleep, she slipped out of the brightly colored sleeping bag and turned on the small night light Belinda had never moved from beside her bed. Her book in hand, she curled up beside it and stared at the cover. J. William Mariano. No matter how many times she read it, it still fascinated her.

She cracked open the book and turned to the inside back cover. There, above a small biographical blurb, was a picture. A picture of the man whose house she had been in that day.

The man who looked just like her.

Jamie glanced back up and Belinda's sleeping form before she allowed the tears to fall. This was all such a mess. Such a giant mess.

And it was all her fault.

:::::

Jess finished the book in less than two days. His editor was shocked and amazed, having trouble figuring out how he could produce a complete manuscript in such a short amount of time. Jess chose not to answer, which basically meant he left while the guy was in the middle of asking him.

Jess hadn't slept in 48 hours.

He attempted to find a station to listen to on the way home, but the only rock station to be found played a Matchbox Twenty song and he lost all patience with it. The radio stayed off, the hour ride was silent.

He sat in the driveway for a few minutes before he go out of the car. He could've just mailed the manuscript, and would have, except it was Drella’s day off. He hated going to the post office, hated all the pictures on the walls. He couldn't stand it now, looking at the empty space where Shauna's picture used to be.

Because she wasn't "missing" anymore.

She was dead. Dead, and the whole sick deal of it was, she wasn't even his daughter. His daughter had been raised by the woman who stomped all over his heart when he was nineteen, stomped on it the only time he let himself be vulnerable.

She was raising his daughter.

At the same time, Jamie wasn't his daughter. He didn't know her and she didn't know him. The daughter he had known was the one who had been murdered by a psychopath.

A psychopath he had trusted to take care of her.

It was a twisted hand of fate that had made him a father in the first place. He never should have been one. Raised by a nut job of a mother, spent one summer with the father who ran out on him when he was an infant, those things do not add up to being a standup dad.

He'd married his wife because she loved him. God knows why, but she loved him.

Jamie looked nothing like Miranda. Miranda had been fair and blonde, just like Shauna. It never occurred to them that Shauna looked like someone else. Jamie, she looked so much like him that it was utterly eerie. That hair... it mirrored the dark curls he'd had as a toddler, before Liz could bring herself to cut it.

And even though he knew it was biologically impossible, she looked like Rory too.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/24623793@N00/17062015487)

Chapter Six

The solution was easy, or at least it seemed so to Jamie. There was only one choice, one thing that would make everyone happy again. 

She didn’t really belong anywhere anymore. Her mom wasn’t her mom, and Mr. Mariano wasn’t really her dad. Belonging was something she didn’t.  
Jamie had to leave.

Her backpack was already packed. She’d gone prepared to Mr. Mariano’s house, just in case she had to stay. She liked to be prepared.

She wished she could have been prepared for this.

:::::

“Belinda! Wake up!”

Belinda tried to ignore the frantic voices and impassioned shaking of her shoulder. She’d been taught that kids her age required at least ten hours of sleep. Surely whomever was attempting to wake her was infringing on her tenth hour.

“Belinda Elizabeth Danes!”

Belinda sat straight up at the stern sound of her father’s voice. “Yes, Daddy?” she asked, putting on her most innocent face.

“Where’s Jamie?” Luke adjusted his baseball cap. 

Instinctively, Belinda looked down at the tangle of blankets that she’d last seen Jamie lying in. She bit her lip and gave him a confused stare, just now noticing her mother and Rory standing anxiously behind him. “She’s not here?”

Rory choked back a sob, and Belinda’s eyes widened. 

“It’s okay; she can’t have gone far,” she heard her mother whispering to Rory. Then, Rory’s sobs ended abruptly when she pulled away from her mother.

“I’m going to find her.”

:::::

Rory barely took the time to grab her purse and keys before she was out the door. Her daughter was missing. No matter what blood tests might say, Jamie was her daughter and she’d be damned if she was going to lose her like this.

She drove up and down the nearby streets first, hoping fervently that Jamie hadn’t been missing long. Two hours later, she’d been up and down ever road in Stars Hollow and the surrounding towns, and there was still no sign on Jamie.

What was she going to do? She wondered frantically. Pulling off to the side of the road, Rory pulled her cell phone out with a renewed burst of energy.

The first calls went to Jamie’s closest friends. Neither they, nor their parents had heard from or seen Jamie, so that idea was out. 

Rory hurriedly pushed her hair back from her face, ignoring the tears streaming down her face. Now what was she going to do? Where could Jamie be? Where could she have possibly gone? Was she okay? What if some psychopath had picked her up? What then? 

To her dismay, there was a very logical place that Jamie could have gone. Rory groaned, wondering why it hadn’t occurred to her sooner. She drove back to her mother and Luke’s house, praying fervently that she was right.

Lorelai and Luke both burst out of the house when her car pulled up. Lorelai tugged her daughter in her arms. “I was so worried about you! Did you find her?”

Rory shook her head and then turned to Luke. “Do you have Jess’ number?”

“Yeah.” Luke nodded and she followed him into the house. He and Lorelai had considered calling Jess hours ago when Jamie had disappeared, but he’d vetoed the idea quickly. There was no reason to worry Jess unless they were sure what had happened. 

He would be hysterical when he heard, Luke thought as he handed Rory a piece of paper with Jess’ number on it. This was going to kill Jess and there was nothing Luke could do to protect him this time.

:::::

The voice was half hysterical, completely panic-ridden and the most terrifying thing Jess had heard in his entire life. It was unexpected and utterly fear-inspiring.

Jess had turned the ringer off his phone hours ago, but for some reason the volume on his answering machine was still loud enough to be heard. He was staring at his kitchen cupboards, empty since he had fired his cook the previous night, the day before she usually went grocery shopping for him.

“Jess?” A sniffle. “Jess, pick up the phone. Jamie’s…she’s missing. God, please tell me she went there. She left…and…and I don’t know what to do…”

A flying leap across the couch had Jess with the receiver in his hand. “What about Jamie?”

Another sniffle. “Sh-she’s missing. I think she ran away.”

“Dammit.” Jess squeezed his eyes shut. “Where are you?”

“Sitting in my mom’s driveway. I looked everywhere. She’s gone.”

“I’m on my way.”

Jess hung up the phone and grabbed his wallet. Then he froze, sitting down on the couch. He bit his lip, clenching his hand into a fist. It was okay. She was going to be okay.

She had to be.

:::::

Jamie felt too guilty to take money out of her mother’s wallet, so all the cash she had with her was the ten dollar bill from that week’s allowance. 

That wasn’t enough for the bus, and besides, it was the first place they would look for her. That left walking or hitchhiking. 

Hitchhiking was unsafe, so she began walking towards Hartford. She didn’t remember it being that long of a drive. Surely it wouldn’t take too long to walk.

She walked for what seemed like hours and hours, until her feet ached so badly she had to sit down. She chose a log next to a ditch, and watched the sun come up from her perch.

She wondered if Mr. Mariano knew she was gone. 

:::::

Jess broke about ten laws driving to Stars-Hollow. He called every fifteen minutes on his cell to see if there had been any change, but by the time the four hour drive was over, nothing had been found. He pulled up to police cars in the front lawn and neighbors hovering around the front walk, along with a local news crew.

“Get out of my way,” he growled at a much-aged Babette, who stared after him as if she had seen a ghost.

“Morty! Did you see that?”

Jess flung open the door and was immediately hit by Rory’s sobbing figure. He put an arm around her and turned to the nearest police officer, demanding to know what was going on.

The officer in the dark blue suit explained to Jess what was happening. An Amber Alert had been put out in the state of Connecticut for Jamie, which basically meant that every television and radio station as well as all available law enforcement employees would be looking for her.

Jess let Rory cry onto his shoulder and listened, even though he didn’t want to. He knew what an Amber Alert was. They’d put one out for Shauna.

He prayed that it wouldn’t be too late for Jamie.

Not when they were just finding each other.

Not when he finally had something to live for again.

He looked down at Rory.

Not if it meant her going through what he had all those years ago.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/24623793@N00/17081655748)

Chapter Seven

“Thanks, mister!” Jamie called, hopping out of the truck. 

If Jamie ever went home she’d be killed for hitching a ride, but she hadn’t had much of a choice. Raindrops were falling harder and harder. It was either accept the ride from the elderly trucker or keep walking and develop pneumonia. 

She waved gratefully and then decided to look around a see where she was.

Jamie froze.

This was definitely not where she had been heading.

+++++

Belinda hastily wiped her eyes as Jess walked into the kitchen, leading Rory with an arm around her shoulders. Her eyes narrowed. She knew who he was.

When Luke followed them in, Belinda looked up. “What’s he doing here?” she asked, gesturing towards Jess, who was brewing a fresh pot of coffee.

“Looking for Jamie.” Jess sat down next to Belinda.

She looked confused. “But…how do…you know Jamie?” She wrinkled her brow.

Jess and Rory exchanged looks. “What did Jamie say to you last night?” Rory asked, leaning slightly closer to Jess.

“Not much.” Belinda stared at the arm Jess had draped around Rory. “I asked her if she’d had coffee and she snapped at me. Then she took the sleeping bag and went to sleep.”

Rory sniffled. “I didn’t think she was that upset…she just said she was tired…”

“She didn’t look upset.” Belinda bit her lip.

Rory took a shuddering breath. “I’m a horrible mother…”

“No, you’re not.” Jess had enough experience with the futility of blaming yourself for everything. Even if it was true, which he highly doubted it was, it didn’t help anything. It only incapacitated the people who needed to be alert at that moment.

Belinda felt her eyes once again filling with tears. 

Luke led Belinda gently out of the kitchen, leaving Jess and Rory still sitting next to each other. Jess slowly pulled his arm away from Rory, sitting back in the uncomfortable kitchen chair.

“It all has to change.”

Rory’s head shot up, her eyes wide and confused.

“We have to both stop being so god-dammed selfish and start thinking about Jamie.” Jess took a deep breath. “If we don’t, we’re going to lose her too.”

Rory didn’t have to ask who the ‘too’ was. Shauna was their daughter. Rory, biologically, and Jess through his actions. She might not have been there when Shauna disappeared, or met her besides that first day in the hospital, but it didn’t make it hurt any less to realize that her child was dead.

Dead. It was such a final word, a word that sent shivers down her spine to be thinking about. It was as if thinking the word might make something bad happen to Jamie.

Her other daughter.

She looked over at Jess, who was staring at her with an intensity that took her breath away. As a naive seventeen-year-old, she had dreamt about their sharing a child, but not even the most hyperactive imagination could have conjured up the situation in which it became a reality.

For a moment, she let herself think about the irony of what had happened. Of all the babies in the world, of all the hospitals, it had happened to them.

Rory nodded slightly at Jess. “You’re right. It has to change.” She blinked back tears. “No matter what history we have, this can’t be about us, about our pain. It has to be about our daughter.”

Our daughter. The words slammed into Jess’ chest, knocking the air out of him. 

+++++

Kirk fumbled with the thick stack of fliers in his hands. They were heavy, and he had to hang them all up before he could go meet LuLu. 

Three fliers were taped in the windows of Luke’s Diner. Normally that would be a punishable offense, but it was Luke’s granddaughter, so Kirk figured it was all right. 

He was moving on to paper the windows of Doose’s when half the stack of fliers slid out of his grasp. He knelt on the sidewalk to pick them up.

“I’ll help.” Kirk looked up to find a tiny dark-haired girl crouched on the sidewalk beside him, picking up the papers. 

She flipped one over and Kirk wondered why she looked so nervous.

“You lost?” She didn’t look familiar, but Kirk did tend to avoid children. Most were frightened of him.

“No.”

“You sure?”

“I’m fine,” she snapped, and Kirk looked up to find her nose wrinkled in annoyance.

Funny, that expression seemed really familiar to him….

Kirk looked down at a flier, then back up at the girl in front of him.

+++++

Jess hung up the phone and turned to Rory, tears of relief glistening in his eyes.

“What?”

Jess smiled. “They found her.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/24623793@N00/16649203233)

Chapter Eight

“Never, ever do that again.”

Jamie nodded solemnly. 

Jess leaned forward. “Running away is a really stupid thing.”

She nodded again.

Rory sighed and pulled her into a hug for about the thousandth time that hour. She just couldn’t stop hugging her, now that she knew Jamie was safe. 

When Rory pulled away, Jamie looked hesitantly at Jess. “Are you mad?” she asked softly.

“A little.” Jess forced a smile. “But I was mostly scared.”

“Sorry,” she whispered, and impulsively hugged him.

Jess closed his eyes and hugged Jamie back, trying not to squeeze too tight. 

Rory took a deep breath. “Why don’t you go upstairs and talk to Belinda, okay? She was really worried about you.”

Jamie nodded and quickly walked up the stairs.

Rory turned to Jess. “Now what?”

“What do you mean?”

“You said things had to change.”

He nodded. “They do.”

“So,” Rory paused. “We have to figure out how to make this the easiest on Jamie. I’m assuming you want to be a part of her life?”

Hell yeah, he did. “Of course.”

“Okay.” Rory racked her brain. “I guess, first things first, we should get a paternity test.”

“What the hell for?” Jess had never wanted to strangle her as much as he did at that minute. A paternity test? What was she implying? 

Rory bit her lip. “If we decide to prosecute the hospital for doing this, we’ll need to have blood tests for proof. It takes weeks for those tests to be done. Do you understand?”

“I want those bastards hung.” 

“Understandable.” Luke stepped into the kitchen. “But something like this is going to be hard to prove.”

Rory nodded. “He’s right. I’m not even sure you can make them pay unless it was proved that the switch was on purpose.” 

On purpose? God, Jess hadn’t even thought of that. Could someone have done this on purpose? Why in the world would someone do that? 

He shook his head slightly. It wasn’t even worth thinking about. Not now. “Can I talk to Rory alone?”

“Sure.” Luke grabbed the glass of water he had poured himself and exited the kitchen.

“I have an idea.” Rory looked up at Jess, nodding slightly. He continued, “I-I’d like to have a chance to get to know Jamie. Would you consider letting her come stay with me for a few weeks?”

“No.”

Jess felt his stomach lurch. It was too much. He shouldn’t have even allowed himself to hope. Hope was the kind of emotion that stomped on your heart at it’s every chance. 

“Unless the invitation includes her mother also.”

He looked up in surprise. Rory didn’t appear to be joking. “What?”

“I won’t let her go alone,” Rory stated. “If you want her, you’re stuck with me, too.”

He swallowed. “What about your job?”

“I work from home. As long as I can access the internet from your house, I’ll be fine.” She took a deep breath, afraid he would say yes. Then again, she was also afraid he would say no.

For Jamie’s sake.

“I’ll have to buy some furniture.” Jess tried not to feel excitement. That was another emotion he was not comfortable with. “I could have it delivered to the house before we get there.”

Rory took a faltering breath. “Jess, I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about all this, but…I know Jamie needs this. She hardly knew her father. I can’t take this away from her, no matter how scared I am.”

“I need this too.” The words were soft and almost unintelligible, but Rory still heard them. Heard them and knew.

Their lives would never be the same.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/24623793@N00/16646975074)

Chapter Nine

 

“Jess is your dad?!” Belinda stared at Jamie, eyes wide.

Jamie nodded.

Belinda sank onto her bed. “Whoa,” she said finally. “That’s… really weird.”

“Yeah.”

The two girls stared at each other for a few minutes in silence, each just trying to process what had happened in the past few days. 

“Are you gonna,” Belinda began, “….visit him and stuff?”

Jamie bit her lip. “I don’t know.” She shrugged. “He’s not exactly Mom’s favorite person.”

“My mom likes him,” Belinda offered.

“She didn’t used to.”

“So maybe your mom will learn to like him too.”

“Maybe.” Jamie sighed.

“Dad used to hate him.”

Jamie raised her eyebrows. “Really?”

Belinda nodded. “He pushed him into the lake once.”

Giggling, Jamie fell onto her back. “I would pay big money to have seen that.”

“Me too.”

Belinda reached under the bed and tugged out a heavy box full of books. “Here.”

“What’s that?” Jamie sat up to take a better look.

“Thirteen years of birthday presents from ‘Cousin Jess’.” She nudged the box towards Jamie. “Here, you take them.”

Jamie peered down at the hardcover volumes. She really wanted them. She could already see several books she had wanted to read. “But… he gave them to you.”

“Please.” Belinda rolled her eyes. “I’m not going to read them. Reading’s not exactly my thing.”

Hesitantly, Jamie picked up the first hardcover she could reach. Crime and Punishment. “How old were you when he gave you this?”

“Seven.”

Jamie giggled. “Wasn’t that the year you insisted everyone call you Zelda?”

“What? I liked the name.”

“You wouldn’t wear anything that didn’t have fringe or pom-poms on it.”

“I was testing my boundaries.”

“And the stuffed porcupine?”

“New subject please.”

x x x

Jess sighed and transferred the phone to his other ear. “How hard is this to understand? I need you to furnish two of the upstairs bedrooms. One, for an adult and the other for a child around the age of eight.”

Walking into the kitchen, Luke cleared his throat. 

“Yes of course I’ll need mattresses to go on the bed frames.” Jess nodded towards him and grimaced before turning back to the phone. “That’s what the credit card is for. I know what my credit limit is, and trust me, you’re not going to exceed it unless you take a two year cruise on a diamond studded cruise ship.”

Luke raised an eyebrow, grabbing a beer out of the fridge. 

“Thank you. Now, I would also like a few furnishings for the living and dining rooms.” A pause. “Yes, I know I’ve never wanted furniture in there, but I do now. A couch, a large screen television, and a DVD player. Of course I want DVD’s! What do you think I was going to use it for, a cup holder?!”

This was getting highly amusing. Luke took a sip of his beer and sat down at the table, watching Jess pacing back and forth across the kitchen floor.

“Just grab whatever you think a kid might like. A dining room table and chairs. Plus whatever else you think I need to make the house livable.” Jess sighed. “No, that wasn’t a joke.”

Luke met Jess’ eyes across the table and gave him a semi-sympathetic look.

“Just do whatever you have to do. I want the house furnished by tomorrow afternoon.” Jess shut the phone and tossed it carelessly on the counter.

“You don’t ask much, do you?”

Jess sat down next to Luke. He stayed silent.

Luke understood. All the hurry, it was necessary in Jess’ eyes. If he hesitated even for a moment, Rory might change her mind and he’d lose his daughter just when he was getting to know her.

“So,” Luke began, passing the beer across the table. “Jamie and Rory are going to be visiting you for awhile.”

Jess nodded. “Yeah.”

“And that’s a good thing?”

A pause. “I think so.”

“Good.” 

“Luke?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think this is a good thing?” Jess was staring at the beer bottle. He still hadn’t taken a sip.

The vulnerable look in his eyes disturbed Luke, so he had to look away. “Yeah, Jess. I think it’s a really good thing.”

x x x

“Packing?”

Rory paused, dark blue tank top in her hand. “Yeah.” 

“When are you leaving?” Lorelai sat on the couch next to Rory’s half-filled suitcase.

“Tomorrow.”

“That’s soon.”

Rory resumed packing. “Yeah,” she said softly.

“Are you sure?”

“No.” Rory closed her eyes for a moment, then opened them and looked at her mother. “No, I’m not. But I have to go. Jamie needs this.”

Lorelai nodded. 

Everything packed except for what she would need for the night and in the morning, Rory set the suitcase on the floor just as Jess and Luke came out of the kitchen.

“Hey.” Jess gulped.

Rory forced a small smile. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Lorelai grinned at Luke.

Luke shrugged. Heck, why not? “Hey.”

A few thumps and a slamming door were heard coming from upstairs, along with high-pitched giggles. 

Jess and Rory both looked up at the ceiling as a thump was heard, then the sound of running feet and hysterical giggles.

They both hoped they were doing the right thing.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/24623793@N00/17243466396)

Chapter Ten

“Wow.” Jamie stared up at the house in front of her. “It’s big.”

Jess shrugged. “Huh.”

Rory tried to smile, but found it was impossible. Instead she stared uncomfortably up at the house, feeling much like a deer in the headlights. 

“C’mon.” Jess hefted up Jamie and Rory’s suitcases in one hand and his in the other. He beckoned for them to follow him, which they did up the steps to the wrap-around porch. 

Jamie was in all her glory. She’d never seen a bigger or more beautiful house in her entire life. So different from the tiny NYC apartment she and her mother had lived in for as long as she could remember. Plenty of room for a dog to run around.

In fact…

“Mr. Mariano?”

“Jess,” he reminded her gently. All that ‘Mr. Mariano’ stuff had been driving him nuts.

“Can I have a puppy, Jess?”

Jess chuckled at Rory who looked like she wanted to sink into the ground. “We’ll see, kid.”

“Okay.” Jamie smiled.

The door flew open revealing a middle-aged woman with a bemused expression on her face. “Excuse me, sir, you’re on private property.”

“Very funny, Elaine.” Jess tried to step around her.

“I don’t think so, sir. You see my boss and the owner of this house is an extremely cranky man and won’t like someone being here without permission.”

Jamie looked nervous. “You don’t live here?” she asked Jess.

“I live here.” Jess set down a suitcase and patted her arm. “This is just my smartass secretary Elaine. She thinks she’s funny.”

“I am funny, Mr. Cranky-pants.” Elaine grabbed the suitcase and pushed the door open. “Come on in sweetheart. Wait until you see the room we’ve got for you.”

“We?”

Elaine shrugged. “Your housekeeper quit the day after you left so you’re stuck with me for now, sugar.”

“Geez,” Jess muttered. 

“He goes through housekeepers like toilet paper,” Elaine told Rory, who tried unsuccessfully not to laugh.

“What?” 

Rory laughed again. “Is your name Emily Gilmore?”

“Shut up.” Jess pushed her into the house and slammed the door. 

x x x

Rory really wasn’t all that thrilled when she discovered that Jamie’s room was on the opposite side of the house from her, but the delighted shriek that came from Jamie’s lips when she saw the room made her remain silent.

Elaine was good, she had to admit. The room was every little girl’s dream, from the canopy bed right down to the dollhouse with tiny little Hemmingway novels in the library. Jamie would never admit it, but she knew how her daughter felt about dollhouses and Rory had never been able to afford one.

They had jokingly considered making a ‘doll-apartment’ once, but she knew it wouldn’t satisfy Jamie.

Rory sighed. Elaine had taken equal pains with the room she was staying in. She had no idea how the woman had done so much in such a short period of time. Everything in the house looked new, down to the big screen television set and still-wrapped Pixar DVDs on the DVD player.

Jamie slid across the hardwood floors in her socks, skidding to a halt in front of Rory’s door. “Mom! There’s a complete set of encyclopedias in my room! Not children’s ones with pictures either!”

She skittered away before Rory could answer beyond a smile and a nod. 

Jamie was really happy here.

That frightened Rory beyond belief.

x x x

“Enjoy this meal while you can. Jess’ housekeepers rarely survive until dinnertime.” Elaine set several platters of food down on the dining room table.

“Elaine,” Jess said warningly, but with the hint of a smile on his face.

She grinned. “Okay, I get it. I’m going home now. I trust you’re going to want me here tomorrow?”

Jess grunted a reply. There was no way on this earth he was going to admit that he really needed Elaine. Well, needed her until he could get a new housekeeper.

Jamie poked at the chicken leg on her plate. “Jess, what’s this?”

“It’s chicken.” Jess gave her a strange look.

She frowned. “No it isn’t. Chicken is smaller and it has brown stuff on the outside.”

“You mean like a chicken nugget?”

She nodded.

Jess turned his gaze on Rory, who had the decency to blush. “This is what the chicken looks like before they make nuggets out of it,” he explained.

“Oh.” Jamie shrugged and took a bite. “Mmm!”

“These are called carrots,” Jess said sarcastically as he put a large serving on both Rory and Jamie’s plates. “You eat them so you don’t die of malnourishment.”

Jamie giggled. “I know what carrots are, silly.”

“You do?” Jess raised an eyebrow.

She nodded. “Do you have any ketchup?”

Jess groaned.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/24623793@N00/16646992424)

Chapter Eleven

Jamie peered into her mother’s room and sighed in annoyance.

Jamie was in the process of reading the “Z” volume of the encyclopedias when she got thirsty and wandered down the hall to the bathroom. She was going to go tell her mom what a Zephyr was, but she was asleep.

She shrugged and peeked inside the next door to find Jess fast asleep as well. Jamie looked down the hall at the large grandfather clock.

It was nine.

She rolled her eyes. When she became an adult, she would not go to bed before ten o’clock at the absolute earliest. 

Now if she could only remember which door was hers. She had mistakenly closed it when she went to the bathroom and now she wasn’t sure if it was the one on the left or the right side of the tiny hallway.

After deciding on the left one, she turned the knob and felt around for the light switch. When she found it (a little further from the door than she remembered) she flipped it and stared in shock.

It was the most beautiful room she had ever seen in her life. The walls were painted a pale pink with fluffy white sheep stenciled around the ceiling. Gauzy curtains blew gently in the breeze coming from a cracked window. 

Jamie slowly approached the round white crib in the center of the room. She peered inside to discover the blankets rumpled, as if they had just been slept on. A pale brown stuffed bear was lying off to the side. 

She picked up the bear slowly. It was so soft. She held it gently to her nose and the scent of baby powder wafted up towards her nostrils. 

She shivered. It was so eerie.

“What are you doing in here?!”

x x x

It was unusual for Jess to sleep through the night. He was haunted by perpetual insomnia, finding himself wide awake at odd hours, never sleeping for more than a few hours at a time.

He had been having that dream again, the one where Shauna was crying “Dada” while a woman carried her into the night. Then it would flash back to the coroner’s office, only instead of seeing a few tiny bones, he would see the beaten and bloodied corpse of his daughter.

Waking after the nightmare always included being sweaty and shivering. He hated it, hated feeling so weak and out of control. 

 

x x x

Jamie was so startled by the shout that she dropped the bear on the floor. “J-jess?” she whispered.

The bear was on the floor. Her bear was on the floor. “Don’t touch that,” he snapped, grabbing it up and setting it back into the crib. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Jamie take a step back. 

Carefully, he laid the bear back onto it’s side, exactly three and a half inches from the bars on the left side of the crib. He sighed in relief. It was okay now.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to,” Jamie said, taking a step back.

“Be careful!” Jess exclaimed, grabbing her arm as she nearly backed into the antique white changing table.

Her lower lip quivered. “S-sorry,” she whispered, fear in her eyes.

Jess sighed. “Jamie, I-” He took a step towards her.

She turned and ran out of the room. Jess followed her as she ran down the hallway, down the stairs and into the kitchen. He cornered her by the refrigerator. 

“Look, I’m,” he began.

“Don’t hurt me!”

Jess froze and took a good look at the little girl in front of him, her eyes wide and entire body trembling in fear. He swore under his breath. 

Jamie didn’t move, her body frozen in place. “Please.”

He took a step back, his back hitting the cool surface of the refrigerator. Sliding his body to the floor, he ignored the sound of papers and magnets falling, instead only seeing the expression in his daughter’s eyes as she pleaded with him not to hurt her.

Now sitting on the flood, he buried his head in his hands. He let loose a string of more curse words, which didn’t do much to take away Jamie’s fear. Finally, he looked up.

“When I moved here, I set up that room exactly as it was in our old house. Nothing has been changed since then. It’s the only room I bothered to put anything in until last week.” He closed his eyes. “It’s where I go to pretend that my daughter isn’t dead.”

Jamie swallowed hard and moved closer to him.

“But then it turns out that she’s not dead. My daughter is alive and she’s right here in front of me.” He opened his eyes and looked straight at her. “But a little girl named Shawna still died and I cared about her very much.”

“I’m sorry I moved the bear.” Jamie sat down beside him.

Jess put his arm around her shoulder and hugged her. “I’m sorry I yelled at you.”

Jamie squeezed him tightly. “What was she like?” she whispered. 

“Loud.” Jess smiled, despite himself. “From the moment she learned her first words she never stopped babbling to herself. She always smiled, always was happy.”

“She was pretty. I remember from the picture in the paper.”

Jess nodded. “She looked just like your mom.”

Jamie sniffled and looked up at him. “Did I make everyone sad? Because I found out you were my dad?”

“I’m not sad.” Jess stroked her hair. 

***

Around the corner, Rory listened to the conversation, tears falling silently down her cheeks. Jamie was talking to her father. Her father who loved her.

They belonged together.

And suddenly, Rory wasn’t sure where she belonged.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/24623793@N00/17268936891)

Chapter Twelve

 

Since leaving the house was not exactly one of Jess’ favorite things ever, he ordered a home paternity test kit off of the internet. Rory didn’t exactly look thrilled when he presented her with the idea, but he supposed it was due to the situation.

“A blood test is more accurate,” Jamie informed him as he opened the kit and began reading the directions.

“A blood test requires needles,” Jess reminded her.

Jamie gulped. “Oh. I guess this is accurate enough.”

Jess was silent.

“Should I go get Mom?” she asked in a soft voice.

“If you want.”

Jamie squirmed. “I just thought maybe you might need her for something.”

Jess put the directions down. “Jamie, if you want her here…”

“I don’t!” she interrupted. “I just…” she trailed off, swallowing hard. “I guess I want you to want her here.”

The expression on her face nearly broke Jess’ heart. He stared at her, not sure what to say, not sure if there was anything he could say.

“She used to write you letters.” Jamie said suddenly.

“Huh?” Jess furrowed his brow. What was she talking about?

“Mom.” Jamie stared at him, long and unflinching. “She used to write you letters that she never sent.”

Jess put down the directions and gave her his full attention. “And how do you know what that?”

“I read them.” Jamie didn’t look embarrassed that she’d pried in her mother’s life like that, but Jess supposed that snooping was in her nature. “They were in her ‘Jess Box’.”

Now he was really confused. “’Jess Box’?”

Jamie nodded. “She and Gramma both have a bunch of boxes in the coat closet full of stuff that they got from their old boyfriends. Belinda and I used to go through them when no one else was home.”

“Jamie?” Jess blinked slowly.

“Yeah?”

“Did you know who I was when you first came here?”

She looked down at her shoes, which were pink and had sparkly laces. “Sort of. I mean, not for sure, not until I saw you anyways. I knew she’d gone out with a guy named Jess Mariano, I just didn’t realize he was the same one who Grampa Luke used to visit.”

Jess was quiet, digesting this information.

“There was all kinds of stuff in there.” Jamie was beginning to ramble. “Books that had all kinds of writing in the margins, CDs, a couple movies. A really pretty dress that she never wore. I know ‘cause it still had tags on it. Belinda thinks it was supposed to be her prom dress but of course she didn’t go because…” Jamie trailed off.

“You can finish,” Jess said harshly.

Jamie looked at him and told him the truth, even though he didn’t want to hear it and she didn’t want to say it. “Because you left.”

 

* * *

Rory was having a serious fight with her laptop computer. She was avoiding Jess at all costs, the most major of which was not asking how to hook up to his internet service. For a few days she’d been able to cling to a weak wireless signal from a neighbor, but apparently she’d been discovered and the connection was no longer working.

“Bumble bees!” she muttered. She’d learned some colorful words working at newspapers over the years, but when Jamie got old enough to talk she had to come up with creative euphemisms so as not to corrupt her baby girl. The habit stuck.

Right about now she was itching to use some stronger language, and it was all because she didn’t want to face Jess Mariano. She’d agreed to this visit for Jamie’s sake, and Jamie was loving ever second, but Rory wasn’t sure how much more of this she could take.

She just couldn’t handle this. She needed to google the mayoral candidates for New Jersey, not make nice with her ex!

Rory forced herself to take a deep breath, although she really wanted to beat her laptop until all the buttons popped off. She could handle this, she could stay calm and just ask Jess a simple question.

Couldn’t she?

Jamie had disappeared earlier with one of the neighbor kids. Therefore Rory was all alone in this very large house with no one but Jess for company.

She wasn’t sure if she was nervous that he was going to snap at her, like he did nearly everyone else in his world these days, or worried that he’d be nice. It had taken her nearly ten years to get over Jess, and she couldn’t handle her hormones taking her back down that gravy train.

Rory pushed a few more buttons on the laptop, hit refresh a few more times in her internet window to determine that there was no way that she was on the internet, nor would be able to.

Without asking for help.

She hated feeling this stubborn. In fact, Rory liked to think that she was a pretty flexible and reasonable person. 

Most of the time anyway.

Sure, she wasn’t a saint. Far from it as everyone else on the channel nine news would be quick to tell you. But her flaws were usually forgetting to use a coffee filter in the break room or losing her press pass on a weekly basis. Not stubbornness (unless of course one of the interns made decaf, that was just not acceptable under any circumstances).

Rory sighed. The truth was, she didn’t even need to be working in the first place. She had vacation time. Her boss told her he’d email if the writing department needed her to fling together a couple pieces, and he hadn’t emailed.

So why was she freaking out?

Maybe she was a workaholic. Rory worried about this sometimes. When Jamie had been a baby it was her biggest fear that Jamie would forget who she was. Brian used to laugh at her, tell her she was crazy, but she still worried.

Her mom reassured her that it was a similar fear that almost all working mothers felt, normal and completely unfounded. 

And now she had a chance to relax, sit back and enjoy time with her daughter, and all she wanted to do was work so she didn’t have to think about what was going on. So she didn’t have to remember that her daughter wasn’t really her daughter, and that the boy she’d been in love with in her teens was her biological father.

Now that the truth was out, Rory wondered why nobody had suspected anything sooner. Jamie was the spitting image of Jess. At times now she felt her stomach do flips at certain gestures or expressions that one or both of them would make. 

Once again, Rory looked at the computer. Maybe she didn’t need the internet, or to do research on a story that she hadn’t even been asked to write, but asking Jess about the internet hookup might just be a good thing. Therapeutic even.

She’d never been so wrong.

* * *

“What?” Jess snapped. He’d finally been able to get himself actually working on something, words were actually flowing from his brain to his fingertips to the computer screen and somebody dared bother him? He wasn’t in the mood.

Whoever was outside the door hesitated then knocked again, softer. “Can I come in?”

Jess swallowed. The voice was too deep for Jamie’s, which made him feel a little better that it wasn’t her he had snapped at, not that she seemed to be bothered by his bad attitude anymore. Strange enough, the kid seemed to understand him better than anyone, and he liked it more than he could admit to anyone, including himself.

No, the voice wasn’t Jamie’s, it was her mother. Rory. What could Rory possibly want with him? Nothing good and he wasn’t in the mood but… he could only be so rude without crossing into crotchety territory. “I suppose.”

‘I suppose’ wasn’t exactly ‘sure, come on in I’d love to chat’, but she’d just have to deal with that because it was all she was going to get today.

The door opened slowly and Rory slipped in. She was dressed casually, in a pair of faded jeans that could have easily dated back to her teens and a dark button up blouse. She was also barefoot, and Jess hated himself for noticing the glint of a tiny silver ring on one of her toes.

Jess sighed. Why couldn’t she just leave him alone?

“Um.” Rory took a step forward. “I was wondering if I could ask you a favor.”

He wanted to growl, but it would have been too cliché. Favor? “Depends.”

Rory took another small step forward. “I really need get on the internet for work… I have my laptop with me but I just couldn’t figure out how to…”

“There’s an Ethernet hookup in the living room.” Jess interrupted her without looking up from his desk. He just couldn’t look at her anymore. Suddenly it was like he was seventeen again, lusting after this amazingly beautiful and pure girl who had no idea how she was driving him crazy.

Still didn’t.

“Okay.” She still didn’t leave, just shifted her feet a little and tugged at the bottom of her blouse. “Um, thank you.”

Jess forced his eyes to focus on the blank page in front of him. He typed a few random keys, trying to make it look like he was writing something profound, not ‘the blue dog dated the dark skunk” which was what he actually typed.

“Jamie’s okay, right?” Rory bit her lip, something Jess noticed because he couldn’t keep his eyes on the screen when he heard the concern in her voice. “I probably should have asked more questions to that girl’s mother…”

Jess stood up, not advancing. “She’s fine,” he said gruffly. “Elaine knows the family.”

“Oh.” Rory nodded. “Then she should be okay then.” Again she tugged on the bottom of her shirt and continued to tug on the inside of her lower lip with her teeth.

Jess clenched his hands. 

Rory started to leave, then paused, turning back around. “Jess, I just wanted to say thank you for letting us stay here with you. I know it must be really hard on you and I just want you to know how much I appreciate how sweet you’ve been with Jamie.”

“She’s my daughter.” Jess gave up on typing and pushed his chair away from his desk, standing up. 

“I, I know.” Rory blinked at him. “But not everyone would have done this.”

Jess turned away, just couldn’t look at her face anymore. “They would if they thought their daughter was dead.”

Rory stepped closer and put a hand on his arm, which he shrugged off, but she didn’t leave. “It must have been so hard when Jamie showed up on your doorstep like that.”

Jess didn’t answer.

“She’s just so impulsive and I know she can’t have gotten that from me but I still feel responsible for us messing your life up like this and…”

As she spoke Jess had his eyes closed, biting back hot tears that threatened to overcome him with the sheer emotion of having to think about Jamie and Shawna and this whole screwed up situation. He was all but shaking with pent up emotion that felt like it was going to explode if he didn’t just let it out.

So he did.

And ten minutes later, when Rory was still standing in his den in shock from the passionate kiss he had planted on her lips, he was already packed and speeding away in his car.

Because he just couldn’t take it anymore.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

 

“Mom?” Jamie flicked on light switches as she ran through the house to her mother’s room, where she found Rory curled up on top of the bedspread, fast asleep. 

Rory groaned, stretching. “Huh? Oh, hey sweetie. Sorry, I fell asleep.”

“I noticed.” Jamie climbed up on the bed next to her.

Rory leaned against the headboard. “Did you have fun with your friend?”

Jamie nodded. “Teresa’s cool.”

“I’m glad.” Rory smiled.

“Where’s Jess?” Jamie asked suddenly. 

Rory shrugged. “I don’t know, his office maybe?” She’d heard him take off earlier in his car, but surely he was back by now. By the look of things, she’d been asleep for most of the afternoon. She normally never fell asleep during the day, but since her arrival, she’d had trouble sleeping at night.

Jamie frowned. “But it’s all dark in there. Everywhere was dark until I turned on some lights a few minutes ago.”

“It is?” Rory sat up straighter, frowning along with her daughter. “Are you sure? Maybe he just fell asleep too.”

Jamie’s brows furrowed. “He barely even sleeps at night, let alone during the day too.”

Rory smoothed a section of the bedspread with her fingers. “You’re right. He doesn’t,” she said softly.

“So, if he’s gone…” Jamie tucked her knees under her chin. “I mean, he’ll come back, right Mom?”

Rory reached out to squeeze her daughter’s hand. “Of course he’ll come back,” she reassured Jamie. “This is his house and you’re his kid. He’ll come back,” she repeated. 

“Promise?” Jamie suddenly looked very small, and very young.

Rory swallowed and prayed her daughter would forgive her for this lie, if she was wrong. “I promise Jess will come back.”

 

* * *

After the fifth time Belinda insisted that a mutant flying squirrel was in the backyard, Luke finally went outside with a flashlight to check, partly to see what was thumping around in the yard but mostly to shut her up.

“As soon as I get back in there I am blocking the Sci-Fi Channel,” Luke muttered to himself, rounding the chuppah.

“You know only crazy people talk to themselves,” a deep voice said from the chuppah.

“What the?!” Luke jumped a foot and shone his flashlight onto the chuppah, revealing a very haggard looking Jess sprawled across the wooden floor. 

Jess gave a half-hearted wave. “What’s up, Uncle Luke?”

“What are you doing here?” Luke demanded.

“I was napping until You and Yourself decided to interrupt,” was his sarcastic reply.

Luke shone the light directly into Jess’ eyes. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t you supposed to be in NY spending time with your new daughter?”

Jess was silent.

“Ah.” Luke sat down next to him and turned off the flashlight. “So, who are you running from, Jamie or Rory?”

“I’m not running,” Jess mumbled.

“You just decided to drive six hours take a nap on a piece of wood in my backyard?”

“The chuppah missed me.”

Luke sighed. “I could go get Lorelai to squeeze it out of you...”

“No, don’t!” Jess exclaimed, taking a deep breath. “Fine. I’ll tell you.”

Luke waited.

“Rory,” Jess said finally. “I’m running from Rory.”

“I kinda figured.”

“She just,” Jess paused. “I just can’t do this,” he said, as if it had just occurred to him.

Luke squinted through the darkness at his nephew. “You can’t do what, Jess?”

“Be around Rory? Be a dad? I don’t know. I just can’t handle this anymore.”

Luke looked towards the house, where his loving wife and beautiful daughter waited just beyond the windows, probably telling ridiculously silly stories about the mutant flying squirrel coming to get them. 

And there before him was his thirty something nephew, the bad boy all grown up, who had experienced more grief in his life than anyone should have to go through. Jess had spent the past ten years alone, and now that he finally had a family, he was running scared.

“Did you at least tell them you were leaving?” Luke asked.

Jess’ silence answered the question for him.

Luke stood up. “Well, I don’t know what to tell you Jess. I’m sorry you don’t feel like you can handle this anymore, but this isn’t about you. Not anymore. Stopped being that way the second the pregnancy test comes out positive.”

“My daughter died!” Jess exploded. “I can’t just forget that.”

“Your daughter’s in New York, probably terrified you’re never coming back!” Luke retorted. “I’m sorry about Shawna, but Jamie’s your daughter now, and for all she knows, you’ve abandoned her.”

Jess gritted his teeth. “I didn’t abandon her.”

“Really? Did you tell her you were running to Stars Hollow to have a freak out? No? Then you abandoned her, Jess. You abandoned her and Rory, just like your father did.”

Luke’s last sentence hit Jess like a slap in the face. He shuddered. Luke was right. He’d run. He’d run away just like his father.

“Why’d you run away this time, Jess?” Luke asked, his voice lowering.

“I kissed her,” Jess said softly.

“Kissed who?” Luke wanted to know. “Jamie?”

“No.” Jess shook his head. “Rory. I kissed Rory.”

Luke snorted. “Well then I’m sure she feels just wonderful right about now. God Jess, when are you going to stop running?”

“I don’t know,” Jess said softly, tracing the carvings on the chuppah with his fingers. “Maybe when I figure out what I’m supposed to do instead of running. I’ve never not run, Luke. What else am I supposed to do?”

“Go back to your family.” Luke turned the flashlight back on and pointed it at Jess’s midsection so he could see his expression. “Go back to your family, and hope they’re still there because Jamie doesn’t deserve this, and neither does Rory. So, go back to them Jess, before it’s too late.”

* * *

Jamie cried herself to sleep that night. She probably thought she was hiding it, but Rory knew. She stood outside her daughter’s door and listened to Jamie’s muffled sobs, cursing Jess with every breath she took.

How dare he leave like that! How dare he run when Jamie needed him so much. How dare he hurt her little girl. 

“I should have known better,” she told herself. Jess had been running since he was a teenager. What made her think he would change? 

Then Rory touched her lips with one finger and softened somewhat. He acted like he didn’t care, but why had he kissed her if he didn’t care? She was so confused. Part of her said to leave, pack them both up and leave. He obviously didn’t want her there.

But then Rory thought about her daughter, sleeping in a big four poster bed with tears dried on her cheeks. No matter how Rory felt, Jamie deserved her father.

Rory couldn’t sleep so she fixed herself a cup of tea and settled down in the library with a book. Unlike most people who had enough money for a library, it was obvious all Jess’ books were read. Most were paperbacks, and nearly all had his hastily written notes in the margins. 

She chose Dorothy Parker, because she was in a dark mood and didn’t want to read anything flowery. The dark poetry and strong tea soothed her, and she dozed in an easy chair until dawn, when she heard someone come in.

She kept her eyes closed until she could tell a shadow was blocking the light. Then Rory opened her eyes and looked up at Jess. Her foot was asleep tucked underneath her legs and she longed to move it, but she found herself frozen. 

He had his hands buried in the pockets of an olive overcoat. “Hey,” he said softly, not meeting her gaze.

“Welcome back,” Rory said coolly.

Jess crouched beside her and took the book out of her hands. “Dorothy Parker? Now that was one depressed chick…”

“So the margins said.”

Jess said the book aside. “How’s Jamie?”

“She cried herself to sleep.”

“Sorry.” Jess sighed. “I know that doesn’t make up for it, but I have to start somewhere, don’t I?”

“When Jamie wakes up I’m going to tell her I’m leaving.” She made the decision as she spoke, surprising herself as much as she surprised him.

Jess’s eyebrows shot up.

“She can stay here until the end of the summer. I’ll pick her up then.” Rory shifted in the chair, trying to get the circulation back in her foot.

Jess sighed. “You don’t have to leave.”

“Don’t I? You don’t want me here.”

“That’s not true.”

Rory snorted. “Right. How silly of me. I’m obviously exactly the person you want here.”

“You are.” Jess finally met her gaze. “Maybe not at first, but…”

“But what?”

“You and Jamie belong here.”

Rory shook her head. “No, Jamie belongs here. She always has and I never will. I won’t try and keep her from you, Jess, but I can’t stay here. It’s too hard.”

“I’m not going to run.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? You’ve kicked that nasty habit overnight?”

“Kinda.” Jess shifted closer. “I went to Stars Hollow. I talked to Luke, and I think I’ve figured some things out.”

“Like what?” Rory still wasn’t convinced, not by a long shot.

“I want you and Jamie to stay here. Permanently.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. What about my job?” Rory tried to sit up.

Jess grabbed her hand to stop her. “Then I’ll move there. Either way we need to be a family. Together. All three of us.”

Rory stared at him. “What are you saying?” she asked softly.

He stared straight into her eyes. “I don’t know what’s going to happen between you and me. Part of me thinks we’re meant to be together, the other part thinks I’m just going to screw it up again. The only thing I can promise is that I love Jamie, and I’m not going to mess things up. I won’t lose another daughter.”

“We don’t need to live together for you to be her father, Jess.” She pulled her hand away and sat up. 

“Yeah, well, that’s not all I want to be.” Jess reached in his pocket and pulled out a black box, which he set on the table beside the chair she was sitting in. “Think about it.”

He got up to leave when Rory called him back. “Yeah?” he asked, without turning around.

She stared at his back in uncertainty. “How do I know you’re not going to run again? I know you love Jamie, but did you ever love me, Jess?”

Jess turned to meet her gaze. “I never stopped,” he said softly. His eyes dropped to the unopened box sitting beside her and gave her a crooked smile. “I never stopped,” he said again, and left Rory there, sitting in the soft light of early morning, staring at the box which might very well contain the next chapter of her life.


	14. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

“I think I’m going to throw up.” Rory kept her head tucked between her knees, which were covered in layers of white satin and tulle.

Lorelai patted her on the shoulder. “Relax. It’s not like you haven’t done this before.”

Rory lifted her head and grimaced. “Yeah, but that was different.”

“How?”

“It wasn’t Jess.” Rory bit her lip and adjusted her skirts. “Sheesh, whose idea was it for a big wedding anyway? I wanted to elope this time.”

Jamie came bounding into the room in a pale green dress only slightly less poofy than her mothers. “Dad said if we were going to do this, we were going to do it right.”

“Yeah, well ‘right’ is making it hard to breathe.” Rory tugged at the bodice to her dress. “Did I mention I think I’m going to throw up?”

Belinda was sitting on the floor in front of them, her matching green dress sprawled across the carpet around her. “Enough times to be starting to get annoying.”

“Belinda!” Lorelai scolded, shooting her younger daughter a look. “She’s nervous, that’s understandable.”

“Sorry,” Belinda murmured, chewing her wad of gum loudly. “But she’s not the only person who can barely breathe.”

Luke poked his head in the room. “Showtime, guys.”

Lorelai, Belinda, and Jamie filed out of the room, leaving Rory still sitting on the couch with a worried expression on her face.

Luke took a few steps forward and crouched in front of her. “It’s not too late to change your mind.”

“I don’t want to change my mind.” Rory smiled at him. “I’m just… beyond nervous.”

“If it makes you feel any better, Jess is at the end of that aisle looking just about the same shade of green as you are.”

Rory laughed. “That does make me feel better.”

Luke straightened and held out a hand to her. “Ready to roll, kid?”

***

“Well, neither of you threw up,” Belinda observed later, stuffing a large bite of wedding cake in her mouth.

Jess flicked a piece of frosting at her.

Rory laughed. “Trust me, it was touch and go there for awhile.”

“Now what?” Jamie asked, leaning across the table to steal a sugar rose off of Belinda’s slice.

Jess frowned. “What do you mean, ‘now what’? This is it, kid. Your mom and dad are married, and we’re all going to live together in the apartment we picked out in the city.”

“After the honeymoon,” Rory clarified, a sparkle in her eye.

“I don’t think that’s what she meant.” Belinda grinned at Jamie, who was grinning back.

“Then what did she mean?”

Jamie smiled innocently. “I’m not going to be an only child forever, am I?”

Rory and Jess looked at each other.

 

**Another Happy Ending for Mariano**

**Editorial**   
**By Marsha Danby**

As the sales for J. William Mariano’s latest book “One Lost, One Gained” continues to rise up the sales charts another member of the Mariano family was welcomed this morning.

Nikolas Sean Mariano was born to Mariano and his wife of one year, journalist Rory Gilmore-Mariano at 6:15 this morning at a local hospital. Nikolas weighed in at 7 pounds, 6 ounces and is said to be in good health.

A publicist for Mariano released the following statement from J. William Mariano himself:

“Marsha Danby, my family and I thank you for prying into our lives.”

If anyone hasn’t read Mariano’s best-selling book about how an article by yours truly reunited him with a lost love and a introduced him to a daughter he did not know he possessed, you are strongly urged to do so.

Fact truly is stranger than fiction.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One year I got the idea I was going to write an April Fools chapter for one of my stories and have Rory end up with Dean instead of Jess. Predictably, insanity ensued (it was hilarious). So just for fun, this is the alternate Chapter Twelve I posted for twenty four hours to freak people out. 
> 
> Having looked back, this was an epic prank, but the ending was MEAN.

**April Fools Chapter Twelve**

Jamie eyed the needle suspiciously. "Is that going to hurt?" she asked the nurse, who was swabbing at her arm.

"Yup." The nurse smiled sheepishly. "I'd lie, but you strike me as the kind of kid who'd hold that against me."

"You thought right," Rory said with a grin. "She still hasn't forgiven me for that splinter I pulled out of her toe when she was six."

"You said it would tickle!" Jamie squealed as the nurse stuck the needle in. "Damn that hurts!"

"Sorry," the nurse apologized as she drew the blood. "There. All done."

Rory swatted at her daughter. "You shouldn't swear. Who taught you to use language like that?"

Jamie shrugged.

The nurse turned to Rory. "Would you like to go next, or should I take Mr. Mariano's sample first?"

"Me?" Rory frowned. "Why do you need a sample from me? I thought we explained the situation over the phone."

"You did." The nurse had turned and began swabbing Jess' arm. "But the court is also going to want proof that you're not the biological mother. Otherwise the hospital will say you two were just having a torrid affair."

"Oh."

"Don't be such a big baby." Jess stuck out his tongue at her. "I have to get stuck, so do you."

Rory rolled her eyes. "Fine."

A string of expletives came from Jess' mouth as the nurse collected his blood sample.

"Niiiice." Rory rolled her eyes. "You're a horrible influence."

"It hurt." Jess rubbed his arm absently.

"Never said a paternity test would be painless." Rory offered her own arm with a grimace. "Explain to me again why we're getting stuck with needles instead of just getting our cheeks swabbed?"

"Because the clinic said they could get the lab results quicker this way," Jess reminded her.

"That's before I knew I was giving a sample," Rory muttered under her breath.

Jamie had recovered from the sting of the needle and was now bouncing from one foot to the other. "Are we done yet? When are we going to find out if Mr. Mariano's my daddy?"

"In a few weeks." Jess tried not to cringe. Daddy.

He never thought he'd be called that again.

x x x

"They came! They came!" Jamie screamed as she came running down the driveway.

Rory looked up from the garden as her daughter came into view, bright blue sneakers clip-clopping on the pavement as she ran. She and Jamie had been planting a row of small blue flowers along the pathway. "Did you-"

Jess, who protested flowers the entire way, had been talked into trimming the hedges for the first time since he'd moved there. "I heard her," he interrupted, tossing the clippers to one side and meeting Jamie in the middle of the lawn.

He pulled off his gloves roughly, tossing them onto the grass and ripping the envelope open. This was it. He was finally going to see it in black and white that Jamie was his daughter. His.

Rory stood up and rushed over. "I'll read it."

"No." Jess moved the papers away from her outstretched arms. "I'll read it."

She swallowed hard and put her hands on Jamie's shoulders. "Well?" she asked after a moment.

"She's not mine." Jess allowed the papers to slip from his grasp and flutter to the ground. "99.999% positive that she is not my daughter."

"What?" Rory gulped.

"She's not mine." Jess looked up at her, his brown eyes furious. "But you already knew that, didn't you?"

Rory shook her head and took a step backward. "No. I didn't. I didn't, I swear! How could I have known?"

Jess swallowed. "Because it's also 99.999% positive that you're her mother."

"I didn't know," Rory repeated. "I didn't know, I swear."

Jess opened his mouth to reply when he heard the low hum of a motor. "What the," he muttered as a black Cadillac came into view.

"No." Rory paled. "Please no."

"Who is that?" Jess demanded as the car came to a stop and the driver's door opened.

A tall, lanky brunette stepped out of the car and Jamie’s mouth dropped open. "Daddy?!" she squealed, and threw herself into his arms.

"Damn," Rory said under her breath.

"What's going on?" Jess grabbed her arm. "You told me your husband was dead!"

"He is!" she exclaimed. "He’s dead!"

The man began walking towards them, Jamie's skinny legs wrapped around his waist. “I missed you, Daddy,” she murmured.

Jess dropped her arm and stared. "You also said his name was Brian."

Rory didn't answer as the man came to a stop in front of them. "Dean," she breathed.

"Didn't think I'd find you here, did you." Dean looked Jess up and down. "Mariano."

Jess turned to Rory and crossed his arms, remaining silent.

“Rory and I have been together since just after Brian died,” Dean told Jess, then looked pointedly at Jamie. “And before, too.”

"I told you to stay away," Rory said softly.

"You knew I wouldn't." Dean set Jamie down on the ground gently. "You didn't really think I'd abandon our children."

"Children?" Jess paled.

"Shut up," Rory hissed.

Dean turned to Jess. "She's four and a half months pregnant with my child."

"You're pregnant?"

"I told you it wasn't yours!" Rory cried, clutching her arms around her middle protectively. "I told you!" With that last exclamation, she turned and ran into the house.

"I don't know what happened." Dean shrugged at Jess. "I know that's my baby, but she just went off the deep end when she found out."

Jess didn't say a thing, simply staring in shock at him.

"I'd better go after her." Dean smiled sheepishly at him and began walking up to the house.

Jess felt like he'd been hit with a ton of bricks as he looked down at Jamie's inquisitive face. For a few short weeks, she'd been his daughter. She looked like him, dammit! He felt perilously close to tears.

"I really wanted you to be my daddy." Jamie hugged him. "I wish I could have two daddies."

Jess patted her shoulder awkwardly as he wondered if his life would ever be the same again.

x x x

Rory was angrily throwing clothing into a suitcase when Dean found her.

"Good," he said calmly. "You started packing."

"I'm not going with you," she snapped.

"Why not?" He sat down on the bed next to the open suitcase.

"Because it's not yours."

Dean smiled gently. "We'll let the paternity test prove that."

"No." Rory stopped. "I am not going back to you, Dean. I refuse."

"And I refuse to accept that." Dean took her trembling hands in his. "Why won't you tell me why you left? Why you're throwing away a fifteen year relationship and taking my children away?"

Rory started to cry. “I don’t know how to tell them,” she whispered, sitting down on the bed beside him.

“Tell who, baby?” Dean asked gently, putting his arms around her.

“Everyone.” Rory sniffled. “My mom, Luke, Lane. How can I tell them that we’ve been having an affair since you were married to Lindsay? How can I tell them that I’m gonna be raising another baby alone?”

Dean rubbed soothing circles into her back. “Not alone. If I had it my way you’d never be alone.”

Rory looked up at him, tears glistening on her lashes.

“I was going to propose that night, you know.”

“What?” Rory stared at him, mouth open. “What night?”

Dean smiled. “The night you told me you were pregnant. I had the ring in my pocket and everything, but you wouldn’t let me talk.”

“I didn’t want you to marry me because of the baby.”

“I want to marry you because I love you.” Dean tugged her closer. “I always have.”

Rory sniffled. “Even now?”

Dean nodded. “Hell yeah.”

She leaned in and kissed him softly. “Marry me?” she whispered.

Dean grinned. “Let’s go home.”

 

**Author J. William Mariano, 1985-2018**

**Editorial**   
**By Marsha Danby**

Today is a sad day in the lives of many readers and authors alike. We can now confirm the rumors that have been spreading since late last week that author J. William Mariano is dead.

His housekeeper found his body early Friday morning with a bullet in the head. The shooting has been ruled a suicide, despite the lack of a suicide note.

Those close to Mariano refuse to speak on the record about his bouts with depressions, but many suspect that this was not his first attempt.

Strangely enough, Mariano’s will bequeath his entire estate to an eight-year-old girl from New York City named Jamie Forrester. It is unknown at this time what her relationship was with the late author, but the family does not appear to be contesting.

Mariano is survived by a mother, Elizabeth Danes, a father, Jim Mariano, an aunt and uncle, Luke and Lorelai Danes, and a cousin, Belinda.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally published 2005-2007


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